Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God ~ truly righteous and holy. -Ephesians 4:23 – 24 NLT
In last week’s blog post, What Are You Shopping For?, we looked at three common thought patterns we can struggle with: ruminating, fixing, and people-pleasing. This week let’s take a closer look at ruminating.
We can’t get off the merry-go-round of our thoughts. Our mind keeps returning to that conversation, that interaction, that hurt. At bedtime we toss, we turn. If we just go over it one more time in our mind, scanning for every possible mistake or flaw ~ something ~ anything~ that might have been misinterpreted, then maybe ~ just maybe ~ we can make the situation better.
Ruminating leaves us stuck in a constant spin cycle. While we may feel as though this will help us fix or solve a problem, in reality rumination leaves us feeling depressed, anxious, and not able to move forward and enjoy today. So, how do we get off the merry-go-round?
- Remind ourselves of the costs and benefits of ruminating. Are there any benefits? Does ruminating lead us to a greater understanding of ourselves or the other person? When we ruminate on our past mistakes or perceived flaws, what are we missing out on ~ right now ~ in the present moment?
- Identify actual solutions to a problem. Commit to taking action, rather than spinning.
- Try prescribed worry. Allow ourselves to sit in the what if’s, the should of’s for a set amount of time. If after 10 -20 minutes we have not gained insight or a new understanding about the situation, let it go.
- After the prescribed worry time is finished, switch our brain’s focus. Take a walk, listen to music, make a cup of tea, etc., ~ choose an activity that is both pleasant and distracting.
- Try radical acceptance. What is in our control? What is not in our control? Accepting what is does not necessarily lessen our pain, but it does lessen our suffering within the pain. Adopt a coping statement: It is what it is. I choose to let this go.
- Talk to God when we are stuck in our thought patterns. He cares for us and never shames us in our struggles.
Everyone ruminates from time to time. With God’s help we can choose how long we ride the merry-go-round, and how we exit that ride.