For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.
~1 Corinthians 3:11
We are in the process of creating a home office space for my counseling practice. I was elated to receive the call that our building is complete. I immediately began to think about furnishing our office space with chairs, file cabinet, bookshelf, artwork, etc. My husband who is well-versed in construction reminded me that we were not ready for the space just yet. First, the foundation must be laid. The base needs to be framed for the gravel and checked to be sure that we have ninety degree corners. Next, we must ensure the frame is level ~ only then will we fill the base with gravel. Once we have a solid foundation we will insulate and finish the interior walls. But all of this hinges on getting the foundation just right.
Relationships also require a firm foundation. Great marriages never develop quickly or without hard work, deep commitment, and sacrificial love. Even with the combined effort of both partners, if the foundation of the marriage is not deeply rooted in Jesus Christ ~ things will be difficult. This does not mean a good marriage is impossible ~ but it will most certainly be harder.
Two marital coaching programs that address a foundation rooted in Christ while incorporating sound counseling principles are SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) and PREPARE/ENRICH (a premarital and marital coaching curriculum). Both SYMBIS and PREPARE/ENRICH are designed to assess relationship strengths and weaknesses while delving into practical topics such as chores, finances, sex, in-law issues, children, family of origin influences, and more. Each curriculum offers insights for couples who are already married as well.
When my husband and I became engaged thirty-eight years ago, we met with my minister for three sessions. The meetings were brief and, to be honest, not very helpful. Finances, in-laws, and sex were briefly mentioned. The other two sessions were more about the wedding ~ rather than the marriage. Today we have a great marriage that includes three of us ~ my husband, myself, and Jesus. Our early years, however, we had lots to learn. What a difference a targeted, thorough program such as SYMBIS or PREPARE/ENRICH could have made!
If you know a couple who is contemplating marriage or remarriage, share with them the importance of their foundation ~ everything hinges on getting it just right.