“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” -Luke 15:20
Forgiveness… it’s not easy. Our ears hear the word and our emotions can be instantly triggered. Powerful memories play in our minds. These memories may be positive ~ when the gift of forgiveness was offered and received with gratitude. Sometimes the memories are painful ~ when the gift was never offered or flatly rejected.
Relationships, particularly marriages, thrive when the gift of forgiveness is offered often and readily accepted. We turn toward our spouse instead of turning away ~ we see the person and the circumstances with empathy rather than with resentment.
When we withhold forgiveness it is a rehearsal of the hurt. We hold onto the pain, ruminate on the memory of the transgression, and serve it up on the cold platter of unforgiveness.
Dr. Everett Worthington has researched forgiveness for decades and authored the R.E.A.C.H. Model of Forgiveness.
R = Recall the hurt.
E = Empathy. See the person and the circumstances through their eyes.
A = Altruistic Gift. Offer forgiveness as a gift to the person and yourself.
C = Commit publicly to forgive the person. Share your decision to forgive with a close friend, family member, or counselor.
H = Hold onto forgiveness. When feelings of resentment begin to creep back in, remember your decision to forgive.
Jesus offers an incredible lesson on forgiveness. In the Parable of the Lost Son, the younger son demands that his father give him his inheritance. He promptly squanders it through wild, reckless living. The father does not chase his son down or beg him to return home. Yet he never gives up hope or stops looking out over the horizon.
And then… he spots his son coming home, and the Jewish father does the unthinkable in his day. He lifts his robe, exposing his bare legs, and he RUNS. He runs to greet his son, not with a “Where have you been?” or “I told you so.” Instead, he meets him with open arms and offers the free gift of forgiveness. This father reached forgiveness.
Our Heavenly Father does the same for us. How can we do anything less?