If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. ~James 1:5-6
Life is hard ~ no way around that. Sometimes our daily lives are filled with the Small Hard. We may be raising young children or traveling through the eye-rolling teen years. Perhaps our job is less than inspiring or our in-laws’ words rub us the wrong way. In the Small Hard, we can read about parenting, ask a trusted friend for advice, look for a new job, or talk with our spouse.
It is when the Big Hard comes calling that we struggle to decide what our next steps should be. Whether we discover an infidelity, our teen suffers with an addiction, a loved one struggles with a mental illness, or the scan at our doctor’s office reveals a devastating diagnosis, we can find ourselves faced with divergent paths. Our next move might be marital counseling in the wake of an affair or we may decide to file for divorce. We can choose to plan an intervention for our addicted teen or we can research residential treatment centers. Do we call the police so that our loved one is committed to a mental health facility or do we wait? After talking with our doctor, do we select the most aggressive treatment or do we opt for a more conservative approach?
Decisions in the Big Hard ~ how do we choose the right path ~ especially when that path is potentially heart-breaking?
- Begin with Prayer. Go to a quiet solitary place. Jesus models this for us in the Bible. He often retreated to a quiet space to be alone with his Father.
- Share openly your fears, doubts, and questions. Our Heavenly Father already knows all that we are thinking and feeling; however, He longs for us to come to Him.
- Wait. If the situation does not demand an immediate action, we can hit our internal pause button. Research has shown that when flooded with emotion, we need at least 20 to 30 minutes for our limbic system to calm down. When the part of our brain called the amygdala is no longer in fight, flight, or freeze mode, our prefrontal cortex can communicate and begin to look at our circumstances with clarity.
- Research, research, research. Gather all the information and data we need to thoughtfully weigh all the possible options.
- Seek Godly wisdom. Do our decisions align with God’s Word? Do Godly friends and family members confirm what our “gut” is telling us?
- Make the hard right decision. Once we select the best course of action, ignore the chatter we hear from the enemy and from our own negative self-talk.
We cannot see or know in advance if the hard right thing will produce the outcome we long for. But, what we can know for certain is that our Heavenly Father will equip us with all we need for the path we have chosen.